So we did it! My husband and I broke down and went to see Marley and Me. We have been pondering on seeing this movie since it premiered at the risk of being overly sadden by the loss of a great friend. However, the movie wasn't heavy at all it was quite refreshing! All along they thye thought they had the Worlds Worst Dog ... but I have to refute that argument because I have the WORLDS WORST DOG!
Rudy and Me, go back 4 years and in those four years he has made quite a mark on the world, with a life story far more interesting than mine in 26 years! Marley chewed up a couch, Rudy chewed up our futon! Marley got kicked out of obedience school, Rudy and I knew where to cut our losses. Marley chased birds at the beach, Rudy chases birds, drowns ducks, and occasionally kills chickens. Marley almost fell out of a car, I threw Rudy out of the Jeep! Marley attacked the postman, Rudy attacks whomever he pleases, can't blame the guy he likes who he likes. Marley ate an answering message, Rudy ate a shirt a WHOLE shirt! Marley pooped in the ocean, Rudy ate the bait at the ocean and pooped in the beach house! Rudy has been to jail and served time for a bite, and Rudy has quite the reputation. Most people fear his "evil side", but others who know him, know he's just a big wimpy dog with a curious personality and mischievous character.
And, those who KNOW him, LOVE him because they know his HEART.
I got Rudy, some 4 years ago. And, during the time of his puppy stage, his Marley Mania I was struggling with some tough stuff, and that same dog whom chewed up a futon, and ate through walls, was my greatest friend. I'd lay on the bathroom floor and ball, while he laid on the other side with his baby paws under the door reaching in to me. He has been my companion, and truest friend his whole life. I have watched him grow and learn through his curious nature, I have witnessed him conquer some pretty neat tricks, and talents. I have also witnessed him fail, with a bad attitude, or with a burn to the nose from sticking his nose to the burning wood in the fire place. I have witnessed him "literally" teach another dog to swim, and watched him deligently help my dad with farm chores such as ridding the pond of stray sticks. This guy even ruined all my notes, and pictures from a past bad relationship. He eats like a pig, sleeps like a hibernating snake, and has the worst gas known to mankind. But, still he is Rudy, and he is my dog! He is my running partner, he ALWAYS gets the last bite, he's a shadow, and the one who hogs the blankets, shoot the whole bed really. He's been there in the good times and the bad and I'll be the first to say yeah he's quite the jerk sometimes, but still to this day I will never take for granted that kind of companionship. Currently, Rudy is not living with us because I think he is happier on the farm, but he will be coming home soon! Because we realize we are missing precious days with him, and plus home is where the heart is, and to Rudy Home is with ME and to Me/ us now, Home is with Rudy. I realize that a Dog doesn't care how much land you have, or the space you have, a dog just simply cares about YOU, about ME!
They say give a dog your heart and he will give you his, but I say because Rudy gave me his heart I have a fuller, more open heart. I understand what love is all about, and Rudy is a BIG part of that discovery. I suggest you go see Marley and Me, and I hope that you've had the opportunity to love and be loved as Marley & his family, or as Rudy and Me.
No matter how bad a day you've had, or how heavy life gets, you can always count on a dog, especially a good dog....a RudyDog!
Friday, January 9, 2009
Friday, December 12, 2008
you're right...life's not fair
So this has been a pretty blessed week for me, a pretty beautiful day for me, a pretty amazing moment for me, as USUAL! This week I finished up a semester at school! Praise God! This week I successfully applied for jobs Praise God. This week I was surrounded by those who LOVE me Praise God. This week I was able to finish my Christmas shopping Praise God. This week I was able to spend time with some of the most special people in my life Praise God. This week I attended two sleepovers.. and every other night slept in my husband's loving arms Praise God. This week began with sharing in the celebration of my beautiful mother's birthday with my family Praise God. This week I smiled, and saw others smile. Praise God. This week I ate well, and slept well. Praise God. This week I felt little physical pain, I never questioned whether or not I am loved, and this week I realized AGAIN... how INCREDIBLY blessed I am!! PRAISE GOD!
I know that God is not only good to me, he is GREAT to me. He has ALWAYS supplied for me, always LOVED me. And, last night I got the chance to have PT with Amanda Brown (One of His most beautiful and loving daughters) And, our conversation started out small, and the next thing you know we are realizing and reflecting on how GREAT OUR GOD IS, how AWESOME our lives have been. And, we both felt a little ashamed, or guilty rather, that we have had to endure very little pain, and hardship in our lives. But, yet so graciously thankful! I do realize that my tomorrow isn't here yet, and I do NOT know what is written in my story. Perhaps there will be great pain, or hardship.... perhaps not. Regardless, I know that God is GOOD. And, God has equipped me and continues to prepare me to take my not so rigid heart and be a reflection of him. I AM HUMBLED! in knowing that my life is GOOD. That I have been bought and saved by the almighty King!
But still not humble enough to let go of pride, or bitterness toward those who don't do good for the good of others, I'm not humbled enough to not judge, to not question, to completely except peace, and to embrace surrender. I still don't understand how people/ myself can have so much in life and not be completely stripped in humility.
It sorta brings me to the song by... of course, David Crowder, called Surely we Can Change. I know that my problem is that my cheek still turns even after being bought by a kiss. I don't know what to do with a love like that of God's, and all the love in the world is right among us, but so is hatred and we must choose what to do with our hands, and our hearts.
And going back to my PT with Amanda last night...I laid there and prayed until I fell asleep. To be able to use the gift of my life to offer grace in the pain, serenity in the suffering, to help those who are afraid to become brave, BECAUSE surely I CAN CHANGE. I can take the fact that my life has been simple and basically free of true suffering, and pain and use it as gift, as a prompt to help others in this harsh world that surrounds us. And, when the day comes that I may be burdened with pain, suffering, freight and even misery, I will STILL choose to seek God first! And, I hope those who love me will too come to my rescue. I pray brothers and sisters that our hearts will never harden to one another and I that the day will never come when we do not fight and defend THE kingdom of God.
The purpose of this is that no matter where your life has been, or where you are now, or where you are going, GOD is with you, and if he's not he DESPERATELY WANTS to be. I pray that for all those of us, who've been blessed beyond reason or understanding, will be HUMBLED through those blessings, and that we will never take for granted what God has given us. More importantly I hope that WE will not be crippled by our blessings, but instead I pray that we use our Blessings as BLESSINGS. I hope to use the gifts God intended for me to have to better the people, myself as well. I hope that our generation never lay dormant when "life is good". Remember how tough life was for Jesus, but yet he continued to pour out blessings and preform miracles. And, so instead of taking my "blessed and simple" life for granted, I WILL be more adamant about sharing my GIFT, of living. Because life is NOT always good.... and you're right... it sure ain't fair!
I know that God is not only good to me, he is GREAT to me. He has ALWAYS supplied for me, always LOVED me. And, last night I got the chance to have PT with Amanda Brown (One of His most beautiful and loving daughters) And, our conversation started out small, and the next thing you know we are realizing and reflecting on how GREAT OUR GOD IS, how AWESOME our lives have been. And, we both felt a little ashamed, or guilty rather, that we have had to endure very little pain, and hardship in our lives. But, yet so graciously thankful! I do realize that my tomorrow isn't here yet, and I do NOT know what is written in my story. Perhaps there will be great pain, or hardship.... perhaps not. Regardless, I know that God is GOOD. And, God has equipped me and continues to prepare me to take my not so rigid heart and be a reflection of him. I AM HUMBLED! in knowing that my life is GOOD. That I have been bought and saved by the almighty King!
But still not humble enough to let go of pride, or bitterness toward those who don't do good for the good of others, I'm not humbled enough to not judge, to not question, to completely except peace, and to embrace surrender. I still don't understand how people/ myself can have so much in life and not be completely stripped in humility.
It sorta brings me to the song by... of course, David Crowder, called Surely we Can Change. I know that my problem is that my cheek still turns even after being bought by a kiss. I don't know what to do with a love like that of God's, and all the love in the world is right among us, but so is hatred and we must choose what to do with our hands, and our hearts.
And going back to my PT with Amanda last night...I laid there and prayed until I fell asleep. To be able to use the gift of my life to offer grace in the pain, serenity in the suffering, to help those who are afraid to become brave, BECAUSE surely I CAN CHANGE. I can take the fact that my life has been simple and basically free of true suffering, and pain and use it as gift, as a prompt to help others in this harsh world that surrounds us. And, when the day comes that I may be burdened with pain, suffering, freight and even misery, I will STILL choose to seek God first! And, I hope those who love me will too come to my rescue. I pray brothers and sisters that our hearts will never harden to one another and I that the day will never come when we do not fight and defend THE kingdom of God.
The purpose of this is that no matter where your life has been, or where you are now, or where you are going, GOD is with you, and if he's not he DESPERATELY WANTS to be. I pray that for all those of us, who've been blessed beyond reason or understanding, will be HUMBLED through those blessings, and that we will never take for granted what God has given us. More importantly I hope that WE will not be crippled by our blessings, but instead I pray that we use our Blessings as BLESSINGS. I hope to use the gifts God intended for me to have to better the people, myself as well. I hope that our generation never lay dormant when "life is good". Remember how tough life was for Jesus, but yet he continued to pour out blessings and preform miracles. And, so instead of taking my "blessed and simple" life for granted, I WILL be more adamant about sharing my GIFT, of living. Because life is NOT always good.... and you're right... it sure ain't fair!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Vote- if your conscience allows!
So, today is the so called "big" day... the day when teachers cancel class, and people stand in ridiculous lines to have their voice or opinion if you will "heard". Let me just say right now, that if you are voting in this election this blog is not meant as a judgment upon you rather just a different view toward today's event. I personally have chose not to vote in this years national election, I will be going home to cast votes for local and state level elections. But, for me it is not about the right or the left, or the black man vs. the woman...it's about God... Jesus rather and living a life in faithfulness to him. I am a huge fan of Derek Webb, and as I was reading his blog this morning I realize that people do still take a stand for their conscience.. for the inner voice of "God" that leads them into decision making. When the campaign first began in the early part of the year I was on board with Ron Paul, a man who most didn't take seriously and thought to be "crazy". However, Ron Paul stands for the common good of OTHERS and that's little we can say for most candidates. I am not going to go off a political tangent of who's right and who's not because after all we don't all see things the same. However, back to Derek Webb, I am attaching his blog on "shall then should we vote" in hopes that you will actually read it. By reading that you will see where I am coming from in saying that I do not agree with the stance, and moral character of either candidate, and I do not have HOPE in any MAN. My hope is my Father, who made a real sacrifice for me, and my desire is to follow his will. In doing so, I feel it is a personal responsibility of mine, to care and love my neighbor deeply, and in that I need no politician. It is obvious that the world we live in is corrupt, and people are slapping bumper stickers for Obama and McCain right and left on their cars, instead of Vote for Jesus, or Vote for what is RIGHT, or Don't vote stickers. It is sad to me that our decisions as a country are based solely on which candidate is going to benefit me and my family most, instead of our whole country! It is disturbing that people would cast votes because she is an intelligent woman or because he is a black man. It is unmoving to know that people will take quite a stance against abortion, but yet think its cosure to deprive others of a better life because of their nationality. I am not a fan of "God Bless America" and" I'm a republican because I'm a Christian"... I don't buy into any Christian that would be selfish enough to wish God's blessings only upon their own country, or to claim to agree with a political platform because for some odd reason they interrupt Jesus as a Republican! Jesus was NOT a republican or a democrat.. Jesus was a man of his conscience and a man who only did what was right simply because it was RIGHT. By this I once again am NOT condemning anyone who voted, as long as you voted with a moral perspective and a faithful conscience... I just simply cannot vote because my conscience says no. And, my attempt here should of been made yesterday in hopes to catch you before you go to the polls and have you really sit down and think, pray over your decision of your "legal" right to cast a vote. Is it worth it? Are you sitting there confidant over the choice you made, or are going to make??? It's just a thought...
Derek Webb's thoughts on this:
http://www.patrolmag.com/times/922/how-shall-we-then-vote
Derek Webb's thoughts on this:
http://www.patrolmag.com/times/922/how-shall-we-then-vote
Friday, October 3, 2008
Then a Hero comes Along...
There's a hero, if you look inside your heart,
You don't have to be afraid of what you are.
There's an answer, if you reach into your soul,
And the sorrow that you know will melt away.
And then a hero comes along,
With the strength to carry on.
And you cast your fears aside,
And you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone,
Look inside you and be strong.
And then you'll finally see the truth,
That a hero lies in you.
It's a long road when you face the world alone;
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.
You can find love if you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt will disappear.
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you.
Lord knows dreams are hard to follow,
But don't let anyone tear them away.
Just hold on, there will be tomorrow,
In time you'll find the way.
And then a hero comes along,
With the strength to carry on.
And you cast your fears aside,
And you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone ,
Look inside you and be strong.
And you'll finally see the truth,
That a hero lies in you.
That a hero lies in you.
Ohhh that a hero lies in you.
This is one of my very favorite songs... but why?
I believe the basic of this song is to remind us that NO ONE is too weak to be defeated! I have been through some pretty hard things in my life as I know others who have been through much worse and back. In those moments a song like this may make me cry, but it also brings light to reality. The reality is that if we search into our soul, we find our deepest connection to the meaning of our life, and we realize hey you know what I can do this... I am in deed not just a survivor but a hero.
Of course this song can also be a reminder of all the hero's in our lives, I was supposed to dance to it with my big brother at my wedding. In my life, when I define Hero it is with names like God of course, Bob, Mama, Daddy, Amanda, Kelly, my husband..... many many many more. The significance here is that none of these people nor myself wear spandex and have super powers, except God of course, but rather they are just people. Broken people at that, with struggles of their own and their very own demons fighting inside of them. But, at some point and even numerous points they were there with an open heart and the right words of encouragement and love and they helped me find my inner hero.
I do think that Mariah Carey is referring to self heroism in the song. She is encouraging us to look at our selves to realize that when we look into our hearts and souls.. the sorrow that we know will melt away. We will meet our own hero that lives within us, the hero that God placed so delicately in each of our hearts to give us the strength to survive. The one who gives us the strangth to not lose focus of our dreams and our purpose.
So whether you take this song and look for the hero that lives within your own soul, or you take it and turn to all the other hero's in your life, I encourage you to just listen to it and be moved by it. Simply, a song of great encouragement and truth. And, it has been a favorite of mine since my dog charlie died and my big bro that was away at college stepped up and became what I then thought to be my hero. Then when I was 21 my world crumbled from around me and I didn't care much for who I was, I didn't think there was much to me. And, then I met Jesus and he sent me hero's from all different walks of life, and together with this song as the background music, I found that hero in my own heart. The one that said... I will not be defeated, I am loved and I have purpose, and that is the hero that still to this day keeps me moving.
Just listen..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWlS8Oerx8o
You don't have to be afraid of what you are.
There's an answer, if you reach into your soul,
And the sorrow that you know will melt away.
And then a hero comes along,
With the strength to carry on.
And you cast your fears aside,
And you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone,
Look inside you and be strong.
And then you'll finally see the truth,
That a hero lies in you.
It's a long road when you face the world alone;
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.
You can find love if you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt will disappear.
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you.
Lord knows dreams are hard to follow,
But don't let anyone tear them away.
Just hold on, there will be tomorrow,
In time you'll find the way.
And then a hero comes along,
With the strength to carry on.
And you cast your fears aside,
And you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone ,
Look inside you and be strong.
And you'll finally see the truth,
That a hero lies in you.
That a hero lies in you.
Ohhh that a hero lies in you.
This is one of my very favorite songs... but why?
I believe the basic of this song is to remind us that NO ONE is too weak to be defeated! I have been through some pretty hard things in my life as I know others who have been through much worse and back. In those moments a song like this may make me cry, but it also brings light to reality. The reality is that if we search into our soul, we find our deepest connection to the meaning of our life, and we realize hey you know what I can do this... I am in deed not just a survivor but a hero.
Of course this song can also be a reminder of all the hero's in our lives, I was supposed to dance to it with my big brother at my wedding. In my life, when I define Hero it is with names like God of course, Bob, Mama, Daddy, Amanda, Kelly, my husband..... many many many more. The significance here is that none of these people nor myself wear spandex and have super powers, except God of course, but rather they are just people. Broken people at that, with struggles of their own and their very own demons fighting inside of them. But, at some point and even numerous points they were there with an open heart and the right words of encouragement and love and they helped me find my inner hero.
I do think that Mariah Carey is referring to self heroism in the song. She is encouraging us to look at our selves to realize that when we look into our hearts and souls.. the sorrow that we know will melt away. We will meet our own hero that lives within us, the hero that God placed so delicately in each of our hearts to give us the strength to survive. The one who gives us the strangth to not lose focus of our dreams and our purpose.
So whether you take this song and look for the hero that lives within your own soul, or you take it and turn to all the other hero's in your life, I encourage you to just listen to it and be moved by it. Simply, a song of great encouragement and truth. And, it has been a favorite of mine since my dog charlie died and my big bro that was away at college stepped up and became what I then thought to be my hero. Then when I was 21 my world crumbled from around me and I didn't care much for who I was, I didn't think there was much to me. And, then I met Jesus and he sent me hero's from all different walks of life, and together with this song as the background music, I found that hero in my own heart. The one that said... I will not be defeated, I am loved and I have purpose, and that is the hero that still to this day keeps me moving.
Just listen..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWlS8Oerx8o
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
the messages we send...
I will be writing this as if it were yesterday because I wrote it yesterday just never got the chance to type it.. ok just making sure that's clear. So, today I was walking downtown to lunch with a couple good friends of mine. We were just talking and laughing, and in a joking manner I brought up the subject of stupidity. I suggested making a scarlet letter style "s" to slap on the forehead of stupid people. I was reflecting on someone in my literature class categorizing George Washington with the Civil War. No, George Washington wasn't President during the Civil War, NOT even close.. how about the American Revolution! I laughed out loud because this was either a moment of obliviousness or just flat out idiocy. Then in the afternoon I was in Pysch class listening to the Professor ramble on about developmental stages. Today we discussed emotional and social development, an area I'm actually very interested in. I even believe it to be the up most important stage in development. Hear me out, if you are malnourished there is still hope and possibility to recover with ample food and rest, you can still grow and development healthy. (physical development) If you are deprived educational resources and intellectual skills you can still live in a functional manner. It may not be easy but life can still be fulfilling. (Cognitive development). However, WORDS and the lack of emotional support can DAMAGE a person for Good. Emotional development affects social development and together those can make or break a person. In the early years the messages sent to children can form their life long self image and worth. Therefore we should be sensitive to all developmental disabilities indeed. We need to realize that yes developmental stages occur in our younger years, but the HEART and the brain endorphins that control self image and perspective are ALWAYS delicate. Therefore, we even as grownups need to be careful with our words and actions, and realize that the messages we send to others do affect them deeply.
I AM very blessed to have parents like I do who were aware of all my developmental stages, sensitive to the person "they" were molding. Of course they fed me well, offered numerous educational tools, adamant about providing me the appropriate opportunities and tools to enhance my cognitive development and desire to learn and do my best. But MOST importantly they offered sincere love, and support, encouragement, and discipline. They allowed me autonomy while teaching me respect and dignity. They allowed me the chance to initiate my own interactions with others but with boundaries and guidance. In other words my parents expected/ expect the best out of me and they do get discouraged when we don't succeed. They let me know that they expected better without labels of negative messages, such as " you deserve an "S" for stupid". Granted I'm thinking most of us had parents who did not call us stupid, however, I think A LOT more often then not parents FAIL at expressing love and self worth. It some how or the other is not taught in a proper positive manner that you should respect yourself and love yourself. The point of this is not a pyschology paper or to brag on my parents effective and awesome ability to raise strong, functioning, children but rather to make myself and others aware of our very own messages.
The message we send to preschoolers can immobilize them or mobilize them for a lifetime even as college students and adults. So it is evident the messages we send to everyone does take affect on their livelihood. I am aware that most of you reading this don't have a 3 year old, but I'm sure as I do myself, we know and love someone who has been paralyzed or severely crippled by inadequate caregiving and love during not only the developmental stages, but along the course of their life. And, still to this day scars from messages that have a lasting effect on everything else's potential.
Doesn't this kinda sound like Satan? He feeds off conversations such as the Scarlet " S" in which I pick fun of someone Else's mistake, and others laugh at it. Isn't that Satan? Isn't it like Satan to keep parents and friends from sending positive messages of love to others. Isn't like Satan to deprive someone of their own self worth, and to not offer the appropriate praise, support and encouragement to others. It's just like Satan to take a conversation with friends on the way to Cubbies and use it to potentially damage someone else. We, especially myself, need to be more sensitive to others hearts even in our jokes. Quite often my jokes or sarcasm spurs from pride, and further damages my honest humility. Because one bad joke could ruin not only someones day but their own lasting self esteem. Not to mention it shuts them off from you and from me. Even though I think this mornings rip van winkle discussion made others look and sound really silly, I had NO right to make a joke out of it, especially not at someone else defense. And, really how often do we do that... we do it all the time!
In all honesty, once my guard is down I'm such a softy... filled with humility through God's grace and discipline. I am the kind who just sits and cries over others pain, I do care about what happens to Gods people. And there is no doubt in my mind if I had of walked out of class with the same girl the joke was on, and saw her about to get hit by a bus, I'd do my best to save her. Because that is my call ... that is what God has told me to do... not make clever Satan like jokes. My point with this is to use my/ our hearts to guide us. To be sensitive and empathic without being doormats of course, but with integrity and love send messages that we really mean.
God gave me a strong heart and awesome parents who did their best to raise me in a healthy and positive manner... and now it is my DUTY to take that combination and live it out. I need to guard the hearts of all people and love others in the way I am loved. I need to relay the messages that I have never been denied!!
I AM very blessed to have parents like I do who were aware of all my developmental stages, sensitive to the person "they" were molding. Of course they fed me well, offered numerous educational tools, adamant about providing me the appropriate opportunities and tools to enhance my cognitive development and desire to learn and do my best. But MOST importantly they offered sincere love, and support, encouragement, and discipline. They allowed me autonomy while teaching me respect and dignity. They allowed me the chance to initiate my own interactions with others but with boundaries and guidance. In other words my parents expected/ expect the best out of me and they do get discouraged when we don't succeed. They let me know that they expected better without labels of negative messages, such as " you deserve an "S" for stupid". Granted I'm thinking most of us had parents who did not call us stupid, however, I think A LOT more often then not parents FAIL at expressing love and self worth. It some how or the other is not taught in a proper positive manner that you should respect yourself and love yourself. The point of this is not a pyschology paper or to brag on my parents effective and awesome ability to raise strong, functioning, children but rather to make myself and others aware of our very own messages.
The message we send to preschoolers can immobilize them or mobilize them for a lifetime even as college students and adults. So it is evident the messages we send to everyone does take affect on their livelihood. I am aware that most of you reading this don't have a 3 year old, but I'm sure as I do myself, we know and love someone who has been paralyzed or severely crippled by inadequate caregiving and love during not only the developmental stages, but along the course of their life. And, still to this day scars from messages that have a lasting effect on everything else's potential.
Doesn't this kinda sound like Satan? He feeds off conversations such as the Scarlet " S" in which I pick fun of someone Else's mistake, and others laugh at it. Isn't that Satan? Isn't it like Satan to keep parents and friends from sending positive messages of love to others. Isn't like Satan to deprive someone of their own self worth, and to not offer the appropriate praise, support and encouragement to others. It's just like Satan to take a conversation with friends on the way to Cubbies and use it to potentially damage someone else. We, especially myself, need to be more sensitive to others hearts even in our jokes. Quite often my jokes or sarcasm spurs from pride, and further damages my honest humility. Because one bad joke could ruin not only someones day but their own lasting self esteem. Not to mention it shuts them off from you and from me. Even though I think this mornings rip van winkle discussion made others look and sound really silly, I had NO right to make a joke out of it, especially not at someone else defense. And, really how often do we do that... we do it all the time!
In all honesty, once my guard is down I'm such a softy... filled with humility through God's grace and discipline. I am the kind who just sits and cries over others pain, I do care about what happens to Gods people. And there is no doubt in my mind if I had of walked out of class with the same girl the joke was on, and saw her about to get hit by a bus, I'd do my best to save her. Because that is my call ... that is what God has told me to do... not make clever Satan like jokes. My point with this is to use my/ our hearts to guide us. To be sensitive and empathic without being doormats of course, but with integrity and love send messages that we really mean.
God gave me a strong heart and awesome parents who did their best to raise me in a healthy and positive manner... and now it is my DUTY to take that combination and live it out. I need to guard the hearts of all people and love others in the way I am loved. I need to relay the messages that I have never been denied!!
My Wedding Day
So as most of you know I got married September 20th and that little cliche is true.... it WAS indeed the BEST day of my life! Everything about the days leading up to the wedding and the BIG day was just perfect. We'll start with Thursday... I went to Kay to pick up my band because it was initially to small, and I thought for sure they were not going to let me get it because Shayne's name was on the receipt. But as I thought a little harder about that ... I was like " well I signed it too" and after we spotted my little microscopic signature they turned the band over to me! Stress number 1! Then Thursday night was very delightful.... and a little stressful at the same time. We were making programs with a printer that printed slower than slow, but it was me and a few great friends... so it was worth it! Then the people started to arrive.. the out of town guests. These were families who drove miles and miles just to watch us get married. And, as we were sitting around visiting I began to get a little overwhelmed with the blessing of friendship and unity. Friday morning I received some awesome news... God had yet again answered a prayer. My cousin decided to take part in my big day, and in all honesty it was the highlight of Friday. Friday was great!... Shayne and I went and applied for a marriage license, and picked up the cakes. Then we came back home to a yard full of friends and family decorating for the big shin dig. That night.. was rehearsal and I got to meet some of Shayne's childhood buddies I'd never met before that were groomsmen. I had my favorite teenagers agree to do all the favors asked of them. Luke is in love with Blake and that is just precious to Shayne and I. We rehearsed and laughed and had a good ole time... then it was over to DEADWOOD.
When we arrived at DW the entire dancehall was full of guests, family and friends laughing and enjoying themselves... it was more than delightful it was a blessing. We made our rounds to the tables passing out SW²
magnets and conversing about the trip and travels. As my father in law gave his welcome speech, we establisehed that we had guests from 9 different states and Canada all gathered to celebrate us. That sure brought a smile to our face. The kids loved it at DW as they had endless train rides, roller coaster and putt putt... and I'll say its fun riding the roller coaster with little people. We got the chance to eat the amazing food prepared by DW and were giving a couple more than meaningful speeches. My sister in law is the BEST sister I can ask for .... she made us a video that had the whole room crying and laughing. It was a great night! Then Shayne and I told each other goodnight one last time.. and 8 hrs later I was waking up to my BIG DAY!!!
As I woke up to Rudy and Dani.. haha that's a combination.. I said well guys here we go! We had breakfast cooked up for us, and then I was off to get my hair done. Where not only did I get my heair done but I was granted the opportunity to recieve encouragement and love from John... my favorite hairdresser. We went to pick up the flowers and they were breathtaking... I REALLY appreciate a beautiful flower. The florist told us my fiance was just in there buying me flowers... the gorgeous ones that were in my room when I got home. The sweetest little note simply said... "we're getting married today.. I love you". The time just flew.. it was time for pictures soon there after.. and dodging Shayne and the boys as they hung out at Aunt Dots. Luckily we took pics first... so I was able to watch State DEFEAT ECU!!! And, then it was time to get ready ... like for real this time. And the next hr was the most overwhelming... I had Kristi and Amy hopping! "Make sure they all get their flowers, where are my shoes?, I can't find my necklace, can you touch up my hair"..I sure do love those two and all my bridesmaids that kept me sane that last hour. Luke got cold feet ( it was precious ) .... and my daddy and I cried on each otehrs shoulders. But then ... it was time. We opened the garage door arm in arm.. and saw all those people and both looked at each other and said "crap"! well we probably actually used a nother version of that word.. hehe. Then Taylor and Jamie played Amazing Love and I made my grand entrance.. as soon as I saw Shayne's face .. everything else subsided. It was just him and I. I know I was surrounded by 100s of special people... and my family but all that mattered was him and I. We went through the most special ceremony.. that I can't even completely recall. All I know is that he was standing there holding my hand.. talking about not getting any sleep the night before and making me laugh the entire time. The songs and words were beautiful and God had the sky just right.. it was every bit of PERFECT!
The reception was AMAZING!! I never realized how long Feels like Home to Me is until we danced to it... Shayne bless his heart can't dance!! hehe. There were soo many people there that I was just stunned. My daddy loved the song I chose for him.. as I am his little girl. Ava shared our dance with us.. it was so adorable. Shayne and Blake entertained us all with Soulja Boy, and all the speeches were amazing. I gathered that Shayne's from those speechs that Shayne is a lucky guy!! hehe There are so many details of that day that I'd like to share.. but to sum it up. We wanted to do it again on Sunday it went by way to fast. It was more than perfect, God's hand was in it and we are LOVED. We were blessed with so many special guests and words and songs that made us cry with joy. It was the best day of our life! However, its just the beginning to very many perfect days together.
After we drove off in the Wrangler.. we went to Sonic for slushis and wal mart... then back to my parents to pack. We didnt make it home to Knightdale til after mid night and then made steak sandwiches and dug into ALL those gifts.... and the rest ... well you know how it goes!
Here are a few pics: http://watermelon.smugmug.com/gallery6012758_Zz8fo#375963613_LSKGY
The BIG day: http://watermelon.smugmug.com/gallery/6030112_99aT6#377447673_ozkvS
More to come later!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I just wanna write ...
I'm not really sure where this is going or what the moral will be at the end of the story... but I just feel that it is time for me to write again. As most of you know I have a BIG day coming VERY soon, I'm getting married on Saturday! I can't be any happier, I could afford to be a little less stressed but its all worth it. During my wedding planning, I've discovered a lot of things. Such as who my TRUE friends really are, unfortunately not everyone cares if you're happy or not and people really are selfish. At the same time many are selfless. My fiance can write better than I gave him credit for just wait to you hear his vows. My family is incredible! My big brother is still my hero! Yellow is a hard color to find in wedding stuff I don't know why because it's so beautiful. Music will make the day even more special. It is an honor that the kids I love so dearly are all actively taking part. School is really piling up, and A's may actually be a challenge this semester. My girls weekend, was the encouragement I needed and a reflection of one of God's greatest gifts... friendship. I know that special people are a part of all this even in their absence. I wish things were different and better with certain people. I KNOW that God has his hand in all of it, and it will be a beautiful Saturday. I am beginning to feel overwhelmed, but not in a stressed way. Rather in a humbling, brings me to tears way. Of course I have a lot to do still, and work that is due Thursday. But, beyond that right on the outside of that reality, lays the reality of being loved. I see the friends I have that have been there for me when my heart was broken, and now when it's becoming whole. I have a family that is the very root of my sanity, and the constant reminder of how blessed I truly am. I have a fiance that will be waiting for me at the end of the isle with the cutest most pure smirk on his precious face. He has been such an amazing part of the planning, and I just don't think boys get enough credit. And, then God... who's sitting back watching me fret over napkins that weren't printed correctly, and pushing me to complete my work, and to grasp hold of what is about to happen in my life. Even though this is our time, God is so good! And, he reminds me to remember others in this time too. To focus my ceremony on the good of others. He will be here Saturday night and I hope everyone sees/ feels his presence in what we are doing. I am so blessed and usually when I feel convicted, humbled. and just simply thankful I feel like others should know it. Because the same God who keeps me grounded, and covers my life with grace and peace... LOVES you and wants you to have that same peace in your heart. My life is crazy right now, its stressful but it's GOOD. I am loved, I love and I am complete through that. Anyway, I just thought I'd share with you on what keeps me going... what's constant in my life.
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