Friday, December 12, 2008

you're right...life's not fair

So this has been a pretty blessed week for me, a pretty beautiful day for me, a pretty amazing moment for me, as USUAL! This week I finished up a semester at school! Praise God! This week I successfully applied for jobs Praise God. This week I was surrounded by those who LOVE me Praise God. This week I was able to finish my Christmas shopping Praise God. This week I was able to spend time with some of the most special people in my life Praise God. This week I attended two sleepovers.. and every other night slept in my husband's loving arms Praise God. This week began with sharing in the celebration of my beautiful mother's birthday with my family Praise God. This week I smiled, and saw others smile. Praise God. This week I ate well, and slept well. Praise God. This week I felt little physical pain, I never questioned whether or not I am loved, and this week I realized AGAIN... how INCREDIBLY blessed I am!! PRAISE GOD!
I know that God is not only good to me, he is GREAT to me. He has ALWAYS supplied for me, always LOVED me. And, last night I got the chance to have PT with Amanda Brown (One of His most beautiful and loving daughters) And, our conversation started out small, and the next thing you know we are realizing and reflecting on how GREAT OUR GOD IS, how AWESOME our lives have been. And, we both felt a little ashamed, or guilty rather, that we have had to endure very little pain, and hardship in our lives. But, yet so graciously thankful! I do realize that my tomorrow isn't here yet, and I do NOT know what is written in my story. Perhaps there will be great pain, or hardship.... perhaps not. Regardless, I know that God is GOOD. And, God has equipped me and continues to prepare me to take my not so rigid heart and be a reflection of him. I AM HUMBLED! in knowing that my life is GOOD. That I have been bought and saved by the almighty King!
But still not humble enough to let go of pride, or bitterness toward those who don't do good for the good of others, I'm not humbled enough to not judge, to not question, to completely except peace, and to embrace surrender. I still don't understand how people/ myself can have so much in life and not be completely stripped in humility.
It sorta brings me to the song by... of course, David Crowder, called Surely we Can Change. I know that my problem is that my cheek still turns even after being bought by a kiss. I don't know what to do with a love like that of God's, and all the love in the world is right among us, but so is hatred and we must choose what to do with our hands, and our hearts.
And going back to my PT with Amanda last night...I laid there and prayed until I fell asleep. To be able to use the gift of my life to offer grace in the pain, serenity in the suffering, to help those who are afraid to become brave, BECAUSE surely I CAN CHANGE. I can take the fact that my life has been simple and basically free of true suffering, and pain and use it as gift, as a prompt to help others in this harsh world that surrounds us. And, when the day comes that I may be burdened with pain, suffering, freight and even misery, I will STILL choose to seek God first! And, I hope those who love me will too come to my rescue. I pray brothers and sisters that our hearts will never harden to one another and I that the day will never come when we do not fight and defend THE kingdom of God.
The purpose of this is that no matter where your life has been, or where you are now, or where you are going, GOD is with you, and if he's not he DESPERATELY WANTS to be. I pray that for all those of us, who've been blessed beyond reason or understanding, will be HUMBLED through those blessings, and that we will never take for granted what God has given us. More importantly I hope that WE will not be crippled by our blessings, but instead I pray that we use our Blessings as BLESSINGS. I hope to use the gifts God intended for me to have to better the people, myself as well. I hope that our generation never lay dormant when "life is good". Remember how tough life was for Jesus, but yet he continued to pour out blessings and preform miracles. And, so instead of taking my "blessed and simple" life for granted, I WILL be more adamant about sharing my GIFT, of living. Because life is NOT always good.... and you're right... it sure ain't fair!

1 comment:

Britt said...

Suzanne, this is definitely an encouraging blog. Thank you for writing this. It's true--despite the fact that some of us may endure hardships...etc, we have the greatest love in the world--we are loved by God...That's an awesome thing...awesome doesn't even really begin to describe God because He's so much more than words...You're awesome, this blog is awesome, but above all...GOD is amazing =)